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Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Boyfriend

Wed, May 12th 2010

I have have a reccurring problem with my boyfriend (whom I live with). When he  has issues and problems with me, he goes and rants to his friends online. The only way I find this out is going through his IM logs. I know that it isn't the best thing for me to do but it is the only way I can find out what is going on with him.

He has combat PTSD and has memory problems so when he *rants* to people he will leave out things or misconstrue things and it makes me look like I am absolutely insane. That is not the case. I have asked him to bring problems to me and not to other people multiple times. Most of the time it is a simple solution or he misunderstood something or assumed. It all just makes me look like an ass to his friends.

At the beginning of our relationship I would have problems opening up to him because I was abused in the past and am always scared about voicing problems. He would constantly complained about that. I changed so that we could have healthy communication but it seems I wasn't the one with the problem now. I am so afraid that he is going to stuff all his problems and eventually hate me because nothing gets resolved because he just tells other people about it. I am not sure what to do about all this.

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