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Basic InformationMore Information Someone to Talk to Truth, Effectiveness, and Mental Health: Part ThreeA first-impression review of the new HBO series 'In Treatment'Aiming AttentionAn Interview with Bruce Ecker, M.A., L.M.F.T., on Coherence TherapyAn Interview with Bruce Ecker, MA, on Memory Reconsolidation and PsychotherapyAn Interview with Jon Frederickson, MSW, on Experiential Psychodynamic PsychotherapyAn Interview with Joshua Lerner, MA, LCSW, on the History of Object Relations TheoryAn Interview with Kirk Schneider, Ph.D., on Existential Humanistic PsychotherapyAn Interview with Leslie Greenberg, PhD, on Emotion-Focused TherapyAn Interview with Wilma Bucci, Ph.D., on Psychoanalysis and Cognitive ScienceAsleep at the WheelB.F. SkinnerBehaviorismBrainless, Then MindlessChoosing the Right Mental Health TherapistCognitive TherapyCommon and Mature Defenses, and BeyondConsidering the ConsequencesDBT is Too Complicated: A Common Misconception about Dialectical Behavior TherapyDialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Self InjuryEmotions Myths: What Do You Believe About Your Emotions?Empathy and Therapeutic RapportEye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)Falling In Love with the Therapist: Erotic Transference and PsychotherapyGestalt TherapyGetting Rid of Painful ThoughtsHealing, Is It Just a Matter of Medication? Helping People to Mature: Robert Kegan and Psychotherapy (Commentary on 'In Over Our Heads')Humanistic PsychologyList of PsychotherapiesMany Voices; One SelfMental Health and the Legacy of Sigmund FreudMindfulness Skills in Dialectical Behavior TherapyMuddling ThroughObject Relations Theory 101: All the World's a StageOperating the Creature You InhabitOrdinary TrancePerson Centered PsychotherapyPsychiatric Restraints: Physical and FigurativePsychoanalysisPsychodynamic Group PsychotherapyPsychodynamic PsychotherapyPsychotherapy and Pseudoscience: Five Indicators of Dubious TreatmentsRational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)Research on Self-Help/Mutual Aid GroupsSalience and SuggestionShameShould Psychotherapy Embrace the Arts?Sigmund FreudSuggestionSwiss Psychiatrist Fights Fear with LSDThe "Fallen" Realities of Human NatureThe Gross Distortion of "Scientifically Validated" Mental Health CareTimeline of PsychotherapyTruth, Effectiveness, and Mental Health: Part OneTruth, Effectiveness, and Mental Health: Part TwoVirtue and ChangeWill and the Competitors for Your AttentionWise Counsel Interview Podcast: Myrna Weissman, Ph.D. on Interpersonal PsychotherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Alan Rappoport, Ph.D. on Control-Mastery TheoryWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Annie Fahy, MSW on Motivational Interviewing Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Becky LaFountain, Ph.D. on Adlerian Psychology and PsychotherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Dr. Jürgen Kriz on Self-Actualization and Person Centered PsychotherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Fern Cohen, Ph.D. on whether Psychoanalysis is DeadWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Francine Shapiro, Ph.D. on Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) TherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Jeffrey Young Ph.D. on Schema TherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with John Clarkin, Ph.D. on Transference-Focused TherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Jonathan Engel, Ph.D. on the History of American Psychotherapy - Part 1Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Jonathan Engel, Ph.D. on the History of American Psychotherapy - Part 2Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Laris Macpherson on the Therapy Client's ExperienceWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. on Dialectical Behavior TherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Natalie Rogers, Ph.D. on Expressive Arts TherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Otto Kernberg, MD on Transference Focused Therapy Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Raul Moncayo, Ph.D. on Lacanian PsychoanalysisWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Richard Shulman, Ph.D. on Volunteers in PsychotherapyWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Shinzen Young on Mindfulness MeditationWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Steven Hayes, PhD on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Latest NewsQuestions and AnswersLinks |
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Is it Transference or A Real Crush?Tue, Jun 23rd 2009I'm a 19 year old lesbian and am having some sort of difficulty with my new support worker. I've only seen her three times so far, but within ten minutes of seeing her for the first time, I realised how beautiful she was and how great her accent sounded (which is really only one very small reason why I like her so much). The first session went well, but I couldn't stop my thoughts heading back into the "She's gorgeous" direction. She's the 4th person I've been referred to see so far. I felt the other three didn't really help me very much and I didn't feel comfortable talking to them much. However, I do feel comfortable talking to my new one, but it's hard because I kind of censor the things I tell her because I want her to like me. I can't stop thinking about her. She was my first thought in the morning and last thought at night. Usually my crushes develop after months of knowing the person, but after only a day or two I knew I was crushing on her. My third session wasn't one on one so I didn't really get to speak to her much or see her much really. But when I did I could feel my eyes kind of locate her and stay put until I felt ashamed and looked away. Sorry, my question is, I'm, according to the Wikipedia article, on Transference. That's when someone reminds you of someone from your past. So I know it's not that. It has nothing to do with her devoting an hour of her time to listen to me because I wouldn't mind if she talked for the hour or no one talked. I just want to be near her. During the 2nd session I just wanted to get up, go over to her and kiss her. I didn't of course, but it did cross my mind. I don't want her to get into trouble and I don't even know if she's gay and, if she was, I doubt she'd like me. Do you suggest I tell her that I'm crushing on her, or would that just make things awkward? Would she still want to continue see me if I tell her? I want her to like me and that might make her not want to see me anymore. And yes, she knows I'm gay, I told her during the 2nd session and she reacted positively (or maybe she had to because it's part of her job...). I'm scared that if this continues I'm going to start to fall for her, hard and fast. I just don't know what to do. I crave her touch. THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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