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Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsParents, Throw the Garden at Your Picky EaterA Good Night's Sleep Is Key to School SuccessHealth Tip: Helping Children Adjust to a MoveKids Often Prescribed Drugs 'Off-Label,' Raising ConcernsExperts' Guide to Trampoline SafetyDon't Let Kids Wander Alone in Parking LotsMost U.S. Parents Say Vaccination Should Be Requirement for School: PollIf a Child's Schoolwork Slips, Don't Rule Out Hearing LossNurturing Childhood Boosts Odds of a Happy Adult Life: StudyKids in Poor Neighborhoods Face Higher Odds for Obesity as AdultsA Prescription for Medicating Your Child SafelyIs a Charter School the Right Choice for Your Child?Health Tip: Mental Illness Warning SignsAn Easy Recipe for Healthier Back-to-School LunchesAHA News: Understanding Connection Between Poverty, Childhood Trauma and Heart DiseaseHealth Tip: Staying Well During the School YearBackpacks Shouldn't Be a Back-to-School Burden on HealthA Kid-Friendly Emergency Room Saves LivesMany Parents Would Switch Doctors Over Vaccination Policy, Poll FindsAs School Starts, Pack That Lunch With Nutritional Goodies5 Health Tips to Promote Back-to-School SuccessPot Poisonings Among Kids, Teens Double After Medical Marijuana Law PassedFor Kids Born With HIV, Taking Needed Meds Gets Harder With Age: StudyBuilding a Better BackpackKids Getting Too Many Opioids After TonsillectomyExplaining, Easing the Horror of Mass Shootings for Your KidsFor Kids With Asthma, Allergies, New School Year Can Bring Flare-UpsAnother Video Game Risk to Watch Out ForOlder Parents May Have Better Behaved KidsAre Too Many Kids Prescribed Antihistamines?Childhood Cancer Steals Over 11 Million Years of Healthy Life: StudyFamily Home, Football Field Most Dangerous Spots for Kids' Head InjuriesMost Airplanes Not Equipped With First Aid for KidsPlastics Chemicals Meant to Replace BPA May Not Be Any Safer for KidsWhat Happens to the Children When Parents Fight?Health Tip: Giving Medicine Safely to ChildrenHow to Make Your Child's Hospital Stay Safer, Less StressfulObesity May Boost Odds for MS in KidsHealth Tip: Diarrhea in KidsOpioid Epidemic Doubled Number of U.S. Kids Sent to Foster CareSwimming Lessons a Must for EveryoneHow to Help When Your Child Weighs Too MuchHave Kids, Buy More Produce?Zika's Damage Continues in Children Infected Before BirthCDC Warns of Start to 'Season' for Mysterious Paralyzing Illness in KidsParent Who Listens Can Help Kids Thrive Despite TraumaHealth Tip: Ear Piercing For KidsReacting Against a 'Too Clean' World, Some Parents Go Too Far the Other WaySurvey Urges Grandparents to Lock Down Their Meds When Kids VisitCalifornia Took on Anti-Vaxxers, and Won Questions and AnswersLinks |
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Perfectionistic SonMy son has always been somewhat of a perfectionist. He always wants to play his best at sports and cries when he has a bad game. He has always had good grades and I have always told him that if he tries his best, that is the most important thing. The problem is that every time there is a big test in school (he is in the 7th grade), he studies, asks me to quiz him and if he gets an answer wrong he starts crying, he wakes up the next morning and goes straight for the text book and begins to cry as he studies again. He asks me to quiz him and again, if he misses something, he is in tears and says he doesn't know it and he is scared he's going to fail. He has always gotten mostly A's and some B's. I try to tell him that I understand that this test is important to him and I understand his fear that if he doesn't know it he could fail a test. I also try to ask him the question What's the worst that could happen? That he fails the test. Did he try his best? Did he feel satisfied with the amount of studying he did? Can he see himself with an F and still work hard in class and do better on the next test? I don't know what else to do? I explain to him that if he continues worrying so much that it puts him in tears every time he studies for test, gets quizzed for the test, he will make himself physically ill. I have had an ulcer and he knows what that was like and how painful. I tried to explain how important it is for him to stop, take a break, take a deep breath, go to sleep on time, study in the morning when he's had time away from the book. I need to know what else I can do because I don't want to increase his stress level, his fear and I can't handle seeing him cry every time there is a test. Help THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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