|Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsQuestions and Answers|BipolarShould I Put up With Abuse And Morbid Jealousy?I Can't control my Mind Anymore, do I Need to Leave?Multiple Sex Abuse as a ChildSexual Abuse, What Should I do Now?Abusive Adult ChildStep-Daughter is Deliberately AbusiveSelf Hate Why Do I like Being Abused?How To Get Over It?Does My Boyfriend Have a Personality Disorder?Do I Suffer From Depression?I Am Wondering What Could be Wrong With Me?Personality Disorder Symptoms??Past Following me For the WorseDelusional JealousyAlcohol and ChangeSecond MarriageHow Can I Move Past This- A Question for StaffThe Marriage Corner: How Can I Move Past This?I am Only 26 Years OldI Feel Like a Complete Waste of a Human LifeBipolar Disorder and False and Displaced Memories?Is There Any Hope For Me, or am I Destined to be Damaged?Extreme BehaviorHow to Convince my Wife to Seek HelpI Just Feel So Depressed Should I Fight For My Marriage?Insecure DangerHe Says I'm Ignorant , Being a MoronPOCDParent Abuse and My Resulting Disorders?Will my Boyfriend Eventually Hit me?Is He a Narcissist?Can This Ever Change??Need AdviceDaughter In Abusive MarriageI Think My Husband Hates MeHelp!!!Will He Hit Me Eventually? My Fiance May Have a Sexual, Nude Photo AddictionIs This Abuse and What Should I Do?Please Help Me!How To Help My SonWorthlessI Want To Die!I Was Living Two Lives. Controlling Husband Who Cheated Several TimesDo I Have Bipolar Disorder?Afraid of Breaking Family ApartIs Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Curable? Delusional and Morbid Jealousy?I Don't Know Anymore. Please Help.Insane JealousyAm I In Danger?Sexual Abuse and Its Effects on Relationships AfterwardsSociopath or Sociopath-like Product of My Environment?Is She Mentally Ill?Narcissistic StepfatherWill the abuse still continue?AngerSexual issues with husbandHelpShould I Switch Therapists? Sara, Nov. 4, 2008Did I push them too much?Violent/murderous sexual fantasiesIs it my fault that I was sexually abused? Did it make me gay?I am really worried about my mental health (19yr old female)Is It Abuse? - Erin - Jun 24th, 2008My boss asked me about my sex life and im only 16.. please read!Abusive Relationshipabuse survivorI believe my husband sexually abused my daughter and is at risk for doing the same to my grandchildren. What should I do now?Why do I beat myself up over what they think?Is it my fault if my family falls apart after he cheats?Living with boyfriend - Am I dealing with one person or two?This guy I bullyCan he be changed?Münchhausen Disorder 'biproxy' (by Proxy)I get paralysed and cant do anythingHow do I keep my conduct disordered step-son from molesting my children?Rape victim who cuts and engages in BDSM to self-punish asks, 'Why am I like this?'cycle of abuse, but no apologiesFeel like I'm trappedFather is abusing and controlling my motherHow can I change my life?how to overcome sexual abuseviolent brotherSelf esteemHow to help a loved one who sees no problemHealthy sexuality not instinctual for me after abusive situationsi don't know if this is abuseafter verbal abuse19 year old daughter in abusive relationshipForgotten or just ignored?Domestic ViolenceIs this Schizophrenia?How to Deal with the Loss of Familyabout my childhood and why I am like this, but what can I do to changeDid I Love my husband and still abuse him emotionallyWhat is wrong with me?What Would This Be?A Request for HelpAdult ChildrenIs there a difference between abuse and trauma?Regret my decision every single dayHe has hit me on a few occasions ...Need to find a reason for the abuseI'm a cutter and can't remember anythingHow Does Childhood Abuse Influence Adulthood?Abusive Older SisterAbusive MotherKilling Myself In His KitchenFear Of Remembering ThingsViolent SisterAbuse Warning SignsBest Way To Deal With Verbal AbuseMy RoommateA Mean, Verbally Abusive WomanConfused While Leaving An Abusive RelationshipPossibly Molested DaughterStill SufferingAbusive FatherWhat Abuse Looks Like #2Are Battered Women Mentally Ill?Recognizing Verbal AbuseDissociates When IntimateAre Bipolars Abusive?Daughter's Violent MarriageDefinition Of Being BeatenThe Aftermath of AbuseThe Goal of TherapyHaunted College StudentToxic ParentsAbused WifeAbuse and TraumaNo Desire For Sex 1Mental AbuseLow Self-EsteemIntimacy IssuesAbusive GirlfriendEmotionally Abusive Marriage: What To Do?False PromisesAn Angry HusbandCarol-Ann writes:Laura writes:Links
I Feel Like a Complete Waste of a Human Life
I feel like I've struggled with depression for at least 3 years but I've never talked to anybody about it because I'm scared. I have this problem where I always have to seem perfect, and so, I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself and everybody else that I'm fine when I'm really not. I can't handle somebody thinking there's something wrong with me. I guess I should give you a bit of background.
My parents got divorced when I was 14, I'm 21 now. My dad was emotionally abusive and a drug addict. I think that has affected me a lot. Ever since this summer, I think it's been getting worse. I started cutting myself in August and I've been doing it more than usual recently.
I dropped out of college a few weeks ago because the pressure of everything is too much for me. I feel like I can't handle doing anything that a normal person should be able to do. I don't really have any kind of a social life because it's always been very hard for me to make friends. I'm shy and I have awful self-esteem. At this point I've convinced myself that nobody should ever want anything to do with me because I'm a terrible person. Sometimes I feel so lonely that it actually starts to make me feel physically sick.
As I mentioned before, my self-esteem is very low and a common thing for me to do is to think about every little thing I hate about myself. Right now I can't think about anything I actually like about myself. I feel like the world would be a better place without me because I'm a burden and I feel like I don't deserve to live because I'm just a waste. I feel like I'm never going to amount to anything and that i might as well end it all now. I'm scared of dying though so I don't think I could actually kill myself. i just wish all the time that I would die or that I'd never been born.
I want to help myself to feel better because I want so badly to be happy but I don't know where to start. I'm so scared to tell somebody about everything. I'm especially scared about telling my mom because she found out about me cutting once already when I first started doing it and I don't want to upset her.
This is really long I'm sorry but I just wanted some kind of a professional opinion on this.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.