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Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsAs Disease Outbreaks Tied to 'Anti-Vaxxers' Rise, States Take Action'Don't Give Up:' Parents' Intuition Spots a Rare Illness Before Doctors DoFDA Approves First Contact Lens That Slows Myopia ProgressionStereotypes About Girls and Math Don't Add Up, Scans ShowStudies Confirm HPV Shot Is SafeThese Sports Are Most Likely to Send Young Americans to the ERNature Nurtures KidsClimate Change Will Hurt Kids Most, Report WarnsTough Childhoods Can Leave a Lifetime of Harm, Experts SayMany U.S. Parents Can't Find a Psychiatrist to Help Their ChildAnti-Vaxxers Find Ways Around States' 'Personal Exemption' BansMake a Plan for Gardening Next Spring With Your KidsCheck Those Halloween Treats So They're Safe to EatFast-Food Outlet in Neighborhood Could Mean Heavier Kids: StudyAntihistamines Linked to Delayed Care for Severe Allergic Reaction: StudyPain Twice as Common for Kids With Autism: StudyPediatricians' Group Calls for More Research on Artificial SweetenersExperts Support Weight-Loss Surgery for Very Obese KidsHalloween Can Be Frightful for Kids With Allergies, AsthmaLawn Mowers May Be Even More Dangerous for Rural KidsHow Young Is Too Young to Leave Kids Home Alone?Skiing, Snowboarding Injuries Most Severe Among Younger KidsKids' Trampoline Injuries Take Another Bounce UpwardsCan More Exercise Improve Thinking Skills in Cancer Survivors?Secondhand Smoke May Harm Kids' EyesScientists Spot Signs of Virus Behind Disease Paralyzing KidsHow to Keep Halloween Fun and SafeFor Kids With Genetic Condition, Statins May Be LifesaversNone of Top-Selling Kids' Drinks Meet Experts' Health RecommendationsChildhood Risk Factors Can Predict Adult ObesityA Parent's Guide to Managing Kids' Asthma During the FallFarm-to-Table Movement Goes to SchoolAHA News: High Triglycerides Caused a Diet Change – at Age 10Kids + Gadgets = Less Sleep and More Risk for Unwanted WeightCause of Paralyzing Illness in Kids Remains ElusiveHealth Tip: Preventing Backpack InjuriesFor Kids With Asthma, Depression Makes ER Visit More LikelyFor Poor Kids, Less Time Spent on Reading, Exercise: StudyTrain Tracks Deadly for Kids, But Many Parents Underestimate the DangerAll That Screen Time Won't Hurt Your Kid's Grades - MaybeDoes Parents' Smoking Raise Future Heart Risks for Kids?Anemia During Pregnancy Tied to Higher Odds for Autism, ADHD in KidsParents, Throw the Garden at Your Picky EaterA Good Night's Sleep Is Key to School SuccessHealth Tip: Helping Children Adjust to a MoveKids Often Prescribed Drugs 'Off-Label,' Raising ConcernsExperts' Guide to Trampoline SafetyDon't Let Kids Wander Alone in Parking LotsMost U.S. Parents Say Vaccination Should Be Requirement for School: PollIf a Child's Schoolwork Slips, Don't Rule Out Hearing Loss Questions and AnswersLinks |
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young teen response to death and griefMy daughter (let's call her Sally) is 13. In the past year she has lost two very close friends and one older person who she knew as a long time friend of the family. Her grandmother is 91 and we are near to losing her. Sally - from my father's perspective - seems a normal young person trying to find what she likes, testing her independence, etc.. She is physically and emotionally (socially) ahead of most of her peers. She is B student, loves music, hates to read, loves sports, and has a few very close girl friends. She avoids the "mean girl's" clique thing like the plague. She is adopted and has always known this and embraced it as part of her identity. Recently she began a texting conversation with a boy at school. We got access to it and discovered it to be full of "adult" language of a highly sexual nature, e.g. she asked "what is the horniest thought you've had about me?" The 13 yr old boy's responses had similar intensity of language. We had a conversation with Sally about this. After about 30 minutes of back and forth, she finally said: "Do you really want to know why I did this? I did it because I still think about my friend's deaths and it bothers me. Sometimes at night I think about it a lot. Doing this (ie sexual conversations with the boy) made me forget." So, my question....is there a link between this kind of "acting out," "out of sync" 13 yr old behavior and what seems to be unresolved grief? Might her adoption (which could now - as she is older and thinks about it more) include feelings of loss? What can/should we do to support her in resolving this? THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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