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Hate Ex-BoyfriendI hate my ex-boyfriend, but I can't make myself tell him not to contact me again. Do you have any advice? Our relationship, which was exclusive and serious, lasted about a year and a half. Things started out well, but along the way become very unhappy. He had what I thought was an inappropriately close relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I thought he spent too much time with her, that they did inappropriate things (like go to weddings together and talking about our relationship problems.) I couldn't accept this, but I couldn't convince him to change his behavior. Nor did I leave the relationship, even when my own health suffered. We had terrible fights. He had a serious, chronic depression and refused to go into therapy. Eventually I too became depressed and entered therapy. When we broke up, he begged me not to cut off contact with him. Initially I agreed, but as we continued to sleep together and spend a lot of time together I eventually decided that I needed to cut off contact with him. I did so, and he tried to commit suicide. He was hospitalized for a few days, and entered therapy. During the hospitalization, he and I and his ex spent a great deal of very uncomfortable time together. He and I tried to work on our problems, but had more and more fights and eventually stopped speaking. Then, after 3 months he sent me a letter and some very personal gifts. I've spoken with him once or twice. The conversations go ok, but I am still furious and still hurt. I don't want to talk to him, but I can't seem to make myself tell him this. Why? THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
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- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
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