Ask Anne: Relationship Questions
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I hate my ex-boyfriend, but I can't make myself tell him not to contact me again. Do you have any advice? Our relationship, which was exclusive and serious, lasted about a year and a half. Things started out well, but along the way become very unhappy. He had what I thought was an inappropriately close relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I thought he spent too much time with her, that they did inappropriate things (like go to weddings together and talking about our relationship problems.) I couldn't accept this, but I couldn't convince him to change his behavior. Nor did I leave the relationship, even when my own health suffered. We had terrible fights. He had a serious, chronic depression and refused to go into therapy. Eventually I too became depressed and entered therapy. When we broke up, he begged me not to cut off contact with him. Initially I agreed, but as we continued to sleep together and spend a lot of time together I eventually decided that I needed to cut off contact with him. I did so, and he tried to commit suicide. He was hospitalized for a few days, and entered therapy. During the hospitalization, he and I and his ex spent a great deal of very uncomfortable time together. He and I tried to work on our problems, but had more and more fights and eventually stopped speaking. Then, after 3 months he sent me a letter and some very personal gifts. I've spoken with him once or twice. The conversations go ok, but I am still furious and still hurt. I don't want to talk to him, but I can't seem to make myself tell him this. Why?

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